...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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