the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
