guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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