You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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