im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize