i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
