If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
