Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
