There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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