Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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