Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
