Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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