So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
