But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
