in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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