I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
