There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm gonna have a badass scar
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
