i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
