Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
