They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
