I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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