dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
