we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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