it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
