Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She's like a pop up book from hell.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
