eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Randomize
