Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
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Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
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I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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