oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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