I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Sorry about my life...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
