Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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