Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
