Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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