So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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