i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
