I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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