He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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