hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
