It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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