Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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