Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
the day after is always just damage control
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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