super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
