everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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