I bet he comes in French.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i scared a bird with my dick
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Someone signed my nipple.
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