i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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