Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
