At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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