What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
