why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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