Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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