i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I supernannyed him into submission
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize