we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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