If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
