this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i dont even know how to be here
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
