So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
