shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
