I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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