my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize